Recent IELTS Exam 6.5 Writing sample answer2_ShieldIELTS

Hello guys!

One of my students named Jason took the test and wrote this answer!

You can get some ideas from this piece!

This is the question(Task2 in IELTS Writing)

<Task2>

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

<high-quality sample answer>

In recent times, there are many people thinking managers take all the responsibility for the successful future at any organisations like companies, whereas some opponents of it claim numerous other factors should be considered as a crucial element in it, as this essay will cover.

 

On the one side, the proponents assert that any organisation is able to work effectively under control of diligent and intelligent managers to reach and achieve their short-term and long-term goals in terms of the effective hierarchy system. For instance, Samsung, one of the most famous conglomerates in South Korea, whose system is often considered a top-down way, is proudly operating their internal employment and manufacturing systematic chain effectively and in a fastest way in the country because their top elite small-sized managers and board members can reach an agreement enabling the company to move fast on every single issue, even though sometimes it is controversial while the economic market is changing dramatically nowadays.

 

On the other side, others seem to deny the solely beneficial aspects of the managers for success and point out that other factors such as the ability of employees and collaboration with each other play a more imperative and crucial role in organizations for their achievement. Even though there are some positive aspects of great managers, it cannot be more important than plenty of endeavours and hard work every day of the majority of employees at work. No one can actually do all the works without cooperation with colleagues nearby. Furthermore, according to an increasing number of researches from Havard Business Review magazine, mutual relationship at company enables the whole corporation help build trust and integrity, which lead to the clearly better working culture and atmosphere in the office.

 

In conclusion, greatness and intelligence of a small group of managers appear to be the partial key to succeed in the organisations but, in the end, the whole group’s achievement depends on the everyone and their endless efforts because building a trustworthy system and environment for staff is much more crucial part for bigger goals.

<Comments>

This writing is 6.5 because it covers all the four important criteria it should have.

Task Response/Coherence/Vocabulary/Grammar

I hope it can help you!

See you!